From the first moment you begin class you hear those frustrating words: Relax! Did you know that many languages don’t have the word relax? Instead of saying relax, it’s usually something like: let go, release, loosen, soften up.
Most of my teachers have talked about relaxation as a natural state, a state when we return to calmness, health, and the unity of mind and body. As I think about it more and more I don’t think relaxation is natural at all. And, there are many types or degrees of relaxation from completely loose to an athlete’s alertness.
I consider relaxation of mind and body as a spiritual state. Only when the mind is calm can the body truly relax. And, if the body isn’t at ease the mind can’t relax.
When I’m talking about spirit or spiritual I am referring to a state where we are calm, centered, clear, and at peace with ourselves. Now that’s true relaxation. There are few people I’d describe as being close to that state. Those individuals usually have a casual and happy-go-lucky air about them. Almost an ‘I don’t care,” attitude. What goes on around them doesn’t touch or move their center.
In order to relax we have to basically just ‘let go.’ Let go of our posturing, or our need to control, manipulate, or force our views, beliefs, or opinions. No needless reaction to words or actions. What comes to mind is the Wisdom of the Great Round Mirror.
I try my best not to tell students to relax since the opposite usually happens. Or, they become frustrated. Instead I prefer asking them to be comfortable. Once you’re comfortable you’re able to relax. If you’re not comfortable then there’s no way you can relax. All new members of Xin Qi Shen Dojo get the following homework (for the rest of their lives): at every red light, every line you have to stand in and wait, TV commercials, stuck in traffic: take a moment to see if you are physically comfortable. If not, then adjust your stance, loosen up, try to figure out why you are uncomfortable and let go. Then proceed about your task.
It’s daily decrease, not daily increase. Learning to be comfortable within our bodies, with circumstances, and events. This, of course, is a continual process. What we each need to ask ourselves is what’s important? Being healthy and happy or in continual tension and conflict? Moving from, and as center instead of being blown in all directions by the winds of events, words, and life’s situations.
Another saying comes to mind from the Zen tradition:
“A warrior has no opinions,
a warrior is simply aware.”
As we practice our forms are we practicing for showing off, exercise, or to develop a following? Shouldn’t we be practicing to strip away layers of tensions and desire? Skill will come. As we practice tuishou, roushou, or any partner work, are we doing it to show what we know, to control or injure our partners, or to learn from the situation? How to surf, stay centered and safe? We should be studying ourselves in this particular situation.
Class and practice. This is one easy area to polish ourselves. Too often I see students practicing with the assumption that they’re learning specific movements to deal with real attacks. The real lessons are in body movement, balance, centering, learning about ourselves, where we’re tense, where we’re controlling, where we fight and clash, where we aren’t centered or over our feet. Class and partner practice is teamwork to learn and polish the principles not merely throwing someone down, or demonstrating who is better or showing off or comparing our practice against others.
Question: When you learned to drive what did you practice? I practiced the techniques of driving and awareness of events during the time I was driving. Have you ever had to veer out of the way of a cat, squirrel, biker? Have you ever had to slam on the brakes to avoid running into or over something? When you drive are you constantly looking for that squirrel or event to happen?
Due to your driving practice, which involved technique and awareness training, I bet you were able to swerve out of the way or brake before hitting the cat. (I sincerely hope so). However, you didn’t practice that, you practiced technique and awareness drills. Techniques in a dojo, no matter how free form, will never be the same as in real life. We can’t simulate a real-time situation within the dojo. On a small level we may be able to simulate the attack but never the intent, anger, desperation, momentum or desire to really hurt each other. Dojo practice is training on various levels. If a car comes out of the blue and is about to hit you, you’ll jump out of the way, or you’ll duck a strike and see an opportunity to counter or escape.
I see dojo practice, whether it is form work or partner work, as practicing to relax within various situations. Actually it’s a study of ourselves to see where we aren’t relaxed and then figure out why not and fix it. This is that stripping away bad habits and attitudes, letting go.
People care too much! It’s good to want to be correct and strive for improvement but I see too much effort creating blockages. The minute a students doesn’t give a sh** about who is watching or how perfect their form is, it’s usually the most correct I’ve seen them practice.
So loosen up and just re . . . Let go.
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