reprinted from Internal Wushu Arts May 1995 Newsletter
A GOOD TUISHOU PARTNER:
A GREAT GIFT
© ATDALE
The layers and dynamics of tuishou or any partner work goes far beyond the mere instruction and patterns we are trying to study, refine and learn. Partner work brings many things to the surface that we normally seek to ignore or avoid. We have our own little quirks, our own baggage from the day, family etc. We have our own frustrations on not getting it, or having had it last week and not this week, wanting it NOW, etc.
One of the most wonderful gifts in partner work is having a partner that works 'with you'. "Well, isn't that the way it should be?" Ideally yes but it seldom happens in real life and learning situations. Though I'm specifically taking about partner work here this also applies to learning forms.
There are the partners that are so busy showing you what they can do, or how good they are that you might as well not be there (except they need you as an audience or dummy to practice on).
There are the partners that are continually showing you the possibilities and options. The problem is all you need and want to understand is how to do the damn exercise.
There are the partners that would rather socialize and visit instead of practicing mindfully or working on 'listening' skills
There are the partners that just aren't there! They give you no energy or movements to really work with. They hook onto a basic pattern and then zone out.
There are the partners that are so afraid of showing you the 'wrong' way they continually apologize instead of practicing and seeing what happens. As long as there is an attempt there are no mistakes in my view.
There are the partners that correct every movement you do that you don't get to practice the exercise. In fact, most of the time you're over-loaded with information that you may forget the pattern of the movement.
Then there are the partners that 'listen' to what you are trying to understand and the two of you work at it. Instead of showing you they are working with you. Instead of teaching you they are helping you or sharing.
It's all so complex. There are times we need to be shown how, times we must be permitted to fumble, time to put things together, times to study detail, times to let go.
Now, if we could just get the right timing.